Its practically a cliche that spending the Christmas Holidays with our family is a trying, stressful process.  Part of what makes is so, of course, is that we love our relatives, we may even like them, but being with them brings up all kinds of unexpected feelings.  We expect to have a great time, share memories, and connect deeply. We seldom actualize that.
If we are fortunate enough, we at least get to enjoy being together some of the time and share some fun.

Christmas
This Christmas I was really excited. For the first time in years we were able to swing a week at our timeshare during the Christmas holidays.  This meant that all 5 kids could, theoretically, meet us in Steamboat Springs for a week of skiing and celebrating Christmas together.  We used to do it regularly when the kids were younger, but with college, work and husbands or boyfriends to contend with it has become a challenge. 
Refusals
Well, the first roadblock was that one of our kids downright refused to go. She never fully disclosed why, but her dad and I were heartbroken. Others struggled to get the finances and logistics worked out, but they all arrived on schedule. One of them, arrived unexpectedly. Living in Taiwan with limited income and lots of student loans, I didn't expect her to get to come. But she surprised me Christmas week by showing up at a family dinner unannounced. 
So with all but one of our crew, we spent a week together (the 7 of us) in a two bedroom suite in Steamboat Springs. 

We are a diverse group of personalities and needs. My oldest is an outspoken attorney with a dear man for a husband who is somewhat reserved.  The twins are bubbly, pleasers who try to make everything work out for everyone (a formidable, if not impossible task). Our youngest is a typical teen in many ways, though struggling with anger issues he doesn't fully comprehend. Then we have my husband and I who are generally pliable and "easy", but we both wanted everyone to ski with us as much as we wanted them to.
The Crucible
It turned out to be a kind of crucible for any unmet needs from their childhoods to surface.  No one who has ever survived such an event will be surprised by this I suppose.
I honestly think that the point of the holidays is to help our kids, and us, have a chance to get things worked out differently this time, to maybe heal things that were left broken open when they left home. I don't know that we necessarily accomplished it, but then again, there is always next time.