The Practice of Compassion#
by Melody Brooke, MA, Conflict Coach, Motivational Speaker

The Cycles and Teachers

Today I talked to a group of teachers about how the Cycles can work for them in their classrooms, with their administrators and within their own families. I was touched to tears as I told them of an experience I had with my Third Grade teacher, Agnes Conner who recognized the pain I was in and began helping me see value in myself. She did it incrementally, respectfully, empathetically allowing me to see that there was something in this life for me. 

As I talked to them I realized what a hard job they have. Now, understand, I come from a family of teachers and know how hard they work and how little they get financially compensated for the most important job in the world next to parenting (also not financially compensated for).  But today I thought about the task of trying to model the Cycles path for their students and with administrators whom have lost sight of their real task.  One woman talked about how the current head of the Houston school district was hired after having bankrupt Corpus Christie’s school district. This administrator increased his own salary by 9%, she said, and then he told all the teachers in the district not to expect any raises in from 3-5 years.  Next he started building stadiums and new schools and laying off teachers.  Talk about failing to take ownership of the realities of the needs of the district!

Are the Cycles “Christian based?”

But in the middle of her frustration she turned to me and said “This is not Christian based is it?” I had ask why she asked that question. She said it is because at some point in my presentation she got chills and it sank in that the Cycles of the Heart is exactly what Christ taught.  I hugged her and thanked her for seeing the heart of the model so clearly.

The practice of Compassion is more than understanding the words. 

My Spiritual Path

I remember an experience I had at the age of 13.  I had been exploring Christianity since I was nine, having walked across the street to the United Methodist Church to attend Sunday School by myself because my family didn’t attend, though my Mom said we were “Methodists”. By 13 I had developed a healthy spiritual life of my own and had read the Bible and learned to pray in a way that felt connected and had a real relationship with Jesus and God.  One morning after a long prayer session I suddenly felt a calling to be a minister. I thought, “I’m a girl! And I’m only 13! How is that supposed to happen?”

Well, I did what I could. By this point I had really gotten a sense of what God is and that I could take it literally that “God is Love” as Jesus so often told.  It became a sort of mission for me to express this newfound wisdom with the people I knew. 

My opportunity to share my knowledge

An opportunity arose for me to share this with my Sunday school class.  Each of us were assigned to be in charge of a lesson for the class. One week a boy in the class brought popular music and talked about how this music drove people to use drugs and about how, as Christians we could not let the music induce us into that world. I was inspired to teach my lesson of love.  I brought in some great popular music at the time about love. I don’t recall what songs I used, but it was 1969 so there was no shortage of music about love. I wrote a slew of poetry expressing my own feelings about the importance of and need for, Love in our lives. I dimmed the lights, lit incense, played the music and read my poetry.  The room was filled with titters and inattentiveness.  Of course, in retrospect I am certain these 13, 14 and 15 year olds could not yet hear what I was trying to communicate.

Teaching something foriegn

This is of course what the middle and high school teachers I talked to this morning are dealing with themselves.  But now, unlike then, I understand the blocks to being able to express love and to be compassionate.  The Cycles of the Heart is a model that clearly lays out a path to being able to practice the compassion that Christ, Budda, Mohamed, the Dali Lama and all the other great Spiritual teachers have taught. So I guess, as it turns out I am a “minister” of sorts, teaching people compassion.

The greatest Spiritual goal

It is the practical application of how to achieve the greatest Spiritual goal of being a compassionate person. Understanding the Cycles of the Heart and practicing it inside of ourselves and outside of ourselves in our relationships, in our workplace, our communities and in our world we really can “change everything!”

What do you think?

I know I have not blogged in a while. I’ve been going through some re-grouping of my life and professional direction in the past couple of weeks. It has not been easy and will not be an easy change, but it is absolutely what is right for me and ultimately, everyone. 

I’d love to hear from you. Tell me what you think about what you know about the power of compassion or how you have applied the Cycles of the Heart to your life.  

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 1:58:17 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00) #    Comments [3]  | 
Monday, July 28, 2008 3:36:49 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Thanks for giving us your 13-year old picture - my vurly hair was exactly like that at 13!!! I never knew just how much your beautiful daughters look like you. marion
marion
Thursday, August 14, 2008 11:56:00 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
I just read an article you wrote on Dan & Jennifer "when swinger sex goes horribly wrong". It is clear that you have no clue regarding swingers. Most swingers we know have relationships so solid, that they put almost any monogamous marriages we can think of to shame. The article you wrote is more about screwed up people with problems in their relationship that have nothing to do with swinging. These couples would have ended up in divorce without swinging ever entering the picture. Swinging is a magnifying glass, it makes bad relationships worse, but makes great relationships/marriages even stronger. The statement that someone always gets hurt, is obsurd. I recommend that you try to only speak about things once you have researched the subject, vs just talking to people with already bad relationships, blaming swinging. Squeaky wheel gets the grease. I would venture to say that there are untold numbers of extremely happy long term swinging couples who have never had any problems due to swinging. Next time make an effort to get a bit more info on the topic instead of throwing out all encompassing blanket statements that basically say 'swinging doesn't work, and will kill your relationship/marriage'.

Friday, August 15, 2008 7:27:17 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)
Ed and Becca
Thank you for your comments. I certainly respect that your experience has been different than mine. Since writing the article you reference from askdanandjennifer.com I have heard from others like you. So I can imagine that my stating my point of view so emphatically must have felt like a condemnation of they lifestyle you have chosen, and of your marriage. I can see how that could have felt hurtful. My own experience has been different. It is certainly true that the couples I have known who have experienced the swinging as being a “bad” thing for their relationship did have relationships that were already in trouble. You are right about that.

But that is kind of my point. It seems to me that SOME couples seek out swinging as an attempt to solve marital problems. I can see that it is possible that this is not always the case. It may even be true that most swingers don’t get into swinging for these reasons. It is also possible that the stories I hear about it are only the ones that are disastrous.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on what drives people to swing or when swinging is a great thing. My article was simply about what the title said “when swinging goes bad”. I am happy that you and your partner have found something fun to share together that has been rewarding for both of you. But I think it’s important to note that it’s not always like that for people. Some of the people you have known in the swinging world may be more like what I wrote about than you know. People often try to make things look better than they are to get what they want.

Again, thanks for commenting. I appreciate your courage in speaking out about something you feel strongly about.
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