I posted on my Facebook page about how little compassion we, as a culture, have for people who act badly.  Okay, yes, we are upset that Tiger, who many of us had on a pedestal has fallen so far down.  But it happens to the greatest of men in the greatest of roles.  Why should we be surprised and why should we be so condemning of them? Bill Clinton was a known philanderer before he married Hilary. Tiger Woods was a known womanizer before he married Erin.
 

I'm not sure where I heard this, it's not mine, so if you know where it came from please comment and remind me: When our dog barks, leaves puffs of hair all over the floor, and nudges us to pet them at the most inopportune times; we are not angry with them. Why? Because they are dogs, and that's what dogs do.  When a philanderer or womanizer continues to do the very things that we know they do, why are we angry with them?

I think it's has to do with the fantasy we women have about ourselves.  We have this fantasy that makes us hotter than any other one we can dream up.  It's the fantasy that the man we find most attractive (for whatever reason) will be driven to passionate lust only for us and that they will only see and want us for the whole of their lives.  We want to be the Catherine to our own Heathcliff living forever knowing we are the only person the focus of our love wants for all time.

Yet, in fact, what we know about men is that there biological drive is to have as many women as possible to "spread their seed".  Therein lies the conflict.

Womenfolk's need to be adored by one man alone, and menfolk's need to "spreed their seed". 

Men attempt to pacify our need by pretending this isn't so, in order to keep us happy.  Women tell men they are "pigs" for having this biological need.

Now, don't for a minute think I am justifying anyone's bad behavior. I'm just explaining how I see the conflict.

Conflict, from my perspective is not a bad thing in and of itself. It's only a bad thing if it's not addressed. If we go into our marriages with blinders, believing that our perception, our position, and our needs are more important and more "true" than our partners, we are in for trouble!

Acknowledging the conflict, coming to a deeper understanding of each others' drives and needs can bring us closer and help us avoid the calamities of the Wood's family.  It helps us be compassionate for ourselves; and our partners.