Gangland Chicago

Chicago has suffered another horrible weekend of what are most likely gang related shootings.  36 people were shot over the course of one single weekend.  I don’t know what the numbers were in the 20’s and 30’s when the mafia was running Chicago but I don’t imagine it was any worse than this. 

What drives this kind of violence? The police and others want to blame the guns for the problems.  I’m reminded of the movie West Side Story when I hear that.  They didn’t need guns to kill people. Maybe fewer people get killed, but killing still happens.  Blaming the guns doesn’t really get to the heart of the matter.  When we understand the Cycle of Egocentrism we can begin to see how the horrors of this kind of violence are triggered.

Gangs and the Cycle of Egocentrism

Gangs are the epitome of the Cycle of Egocentrism at work.  Someone at some point felt damaged by someone else in a different gang, heck, maybe that is what started the gang in the first place. Maybe someone’s friend was insulted, hurt, or killed by someone (thereby becoming a Victim) and the friend gathered up a bunch of their mutual friends and became a gang (then becoming a group of Self-Protectors).  Now they target this other person (another Victim), who in turn gathers up his friends and they became a gang (another group of Self-Protectors).   The blame game ensues and all that results is pain and death.

The Cycle and us

How many times in our lives have we become stuck in the Victim/Self-Protector cycle of blame? I know when I got divorced (both times) I was convinced the guy was horrible.  I made up all kinds of good reasons that my friends agreed with about how awful they were. And, yes, their behaviors were awful.  My friends and I judged them as being to blame for everything that happened in my relationship and I could see no complicity on my part.  He was the one that was screwing around, after all.  He was the one with the temper. He was the one behaving irresponsibly.  I never saw that I owned as much responsibility for what occurred in our relationship as my husbands.  I was trapped in the blame game just as surely as those gang members. 

The growing divorce rate

The Cycle of Egocentrism explains the growing divorce rate better than any thing else. When we get caught up in a Cycle of Egocentrism we believe we are the Victim, and our spouse is the Self-Protector/Perpetrator.  Our only choice is to look for Rescue.  A Lawyer makes a good Rescuer.  The lawyer starts handing out harsh complaints against our spouse and we feel much better.  Of course, then we become the Self-Protector/Perpetrator don’t we? Our spouse then gets so hurt and angry, and they lash back with their own Lawyer. Breaking that cycle is the only way to really change everything.

How are you engaged in the Cycle of Egocentrism?

Have you ever found yourself stuck in blame and battling for survival? If you are or have been caught up in the drama, I’d love to hear how your story turned out. Comment below.