Not a Villain?
Steven Kazmierczak’s girlfriend, Jessica Baty, said, “That’s not the Steven I knew”. She goes on to describe him as a gentle, kind man who was estranged from his family. She said he had been sent to a “group home” as a teen because he was depressed, and he medication he had been on was Prosac. Clearly, there is more to this story than can be deduced from the actions on that fateful day.
Split personalities or Prosaic’s bad side
Listening to what went on with this young man certainly makes him sound like he could have been DID (Dissociatve Identity Disorder). Jessica Baty reported that Kazmierczak could not recall his childhood and that his parents thought he was “unruly” and sent him away. Depressed and “unruly” both could describe someone beginning to display DID symptoms, and the fact that he could not recall his childhood suggests that he must have had some psychic splitting going on. He also had "obsessive compulsive" tendencies according to Jessica, also a sign of DID.
On the other hand, Prosac has strange and unpredictable side effects. As a counselor I have worked with kids and adults prescribed Prosac and other “SSRI”’s (Selective Seratonin Re-uptake Inhibitors). How SSRI’s work is not fully understood and the side effects for some people include anxiety, aggression and violence. Stopping suddenly can worsen these effects. Steven had stopped taking the drug and, from what it sounds like, without the help of a medical professional.
What and be learned?
We’ll never know what was really going on inside Steven’s head, but we have enough clues to know that Jessica Baty was correct. He was a victim, too, just like the others February 14, 2008 at NIU.
When we are shut off from our “shadow” side, the part of us that we want to deny or not accept, it leaves us prone to this kind of splitting. Knowing that ALL of us have sides of ourselves that we don’t like, that are not in congruence with our values and beliefs can help us to confront them and learn from them.
All of us have “Victim”, “Villains” and “Rescuers” inside of us; it’s in our DNA. We are pre-programmed to have these ways of responding to our world and to a sense of threat. Recognizing this can help us to face the unappealing truths about ourselves and, perhaps, keep us from reacting in aggressive, or even, violent ways. This changes everything.
Maybe we can also be more thoughtful and less prone to try to solve everything with a pill, too.
What about you?
How well do you know your own “shadow side”? Have you explored the parts of you that you dislike or reject? Do you think I am making excuses for a monster? Tell me what you think. Comment below.