Gary Michael Hilton a "Monster"?

I don't know much about what happened to Gary Hilton, but aparently he was a reasonably well mannerd saleman for a siding company. He worked for his boss, John Taber for nearly 10 years. During that time Mr. Taber didn't see anything unusual about Hilton.

But then, something changed. Last summer Taber let Hilton go because his behavior had become eratic. Taber said that when Hilton contacted him just prior to setting up Hilton's arrest Hilton spoke of needing drugs desperately to keep the "demons" from filling his mind. Now, it seems Hilton is suspected in other cases as well.

How can you be "normal" for years and then become a "Monster"?

The hidden potential in seeing ourselves as a Victim in our life is that we will eventually decide enough is enough. When we choose the Victim role in our life we stay in a place of despair and misery. We tell ourselves that we are alone and feel put upon by the world. We believe ourselves to be worthless and yet angry that others treat us the way they do.

Living with this kind of self torture can send us in to a mental break down. Many peple, perhaps most who see themselves as the Victim, become depressed and lead miserable, sad lives. But then there is the occassioanal person who losses it altogether.

What Causes this Kind of Horror?

I think that would most likely describe Gary Michael Hilton. At some point he began trying to rescue himself from the "demons" that he carried around in his head of self torture, despair, self hatred, and an internal onslaught of self depricating thoughts. Drugs can work well to temporarily remove misery. We can get a false sense of bieng "okay" and feeling "well" when we use a variety of different drugs. This is exactly what makes them so appealing.

Unfortunately, these same drugs that Rescue us from misery, also become our downfall. They end up hurting us worse than the onslaught of "demons" in our brains. And, often, they end up making us even crazier and scarrier than we were.

As awful as the things that Gary Michael Hilton did, I don't think he is a "monster". I think he is a person who was in such tremendous pain that he did the only things he could figure out how to do to manage it. I can only imagine the kind of pain that man is in right now.

When we hate ourselves we end up believing there is nothing redeemable about anyone.

What do you think?

Do you think Gary Michael Hilton is a "monster", or is there more going on here? It's a sad story, espcially for Meredith Emerson and perhaps even Cheryl Dunlap, whose husband may also have been a victim of Gary Hilton. Hilton's life and any good he may have ever done prior to this nightmare are all lost now.